508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
