didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
