I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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