We're facebook friends in real life
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
