whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
