i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
