i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
