Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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