we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
