I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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