So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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