there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
