His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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