dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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