I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
40s are totally the cure
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
