Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
