The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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