My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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