You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
pray to the hookup gods
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
