she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize