hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
