i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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