no. you can't hotbox the world.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
