Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
