yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
