I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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