my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
