After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
