You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize