some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
whose parrot is this?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
