We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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