do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
