he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
