We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
