Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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