Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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