Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
