Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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