During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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