My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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