Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
