do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize