mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
