i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
