Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
