I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
