If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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