I looked at my own cervix.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
