I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
