Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
