Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
