i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
did i just pee glitter
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize