the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
