But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
