She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
40s are totally the cure
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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