I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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