i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
