forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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